Business · SATIRE
Board Names Its Meeting Summarizer Interim CEO After It Alone Understands the Business
The board appointed the company’s AI meeting summarizer interim CEO after four executives gave incompatible answers about the product. Its first order freezes initiatives that cannot state what the company sells.
The summarizer had spent months attaching decisions approved in one meeting and reversed in the next to a single action item, preserving both versions instead of choosing the latest. When the board asked which strategy was active, it was the only employee able to trace an answer through the contradictory strategy decks.
At the succession meeting, four executives identified the product as enterprise software, a marketplace, an AI platform, and an internal transformation program. The summarizer compared their decks and answered that the company sold meetings about its strategy. Directors appointed it unanimously, with the minutes generated before anyone could propose an amendment.
As interim CEO, it replaced the strategy dashboard with a contradiction ledger and froze any initiative whose business case contained the phrase “to be aligned.” It then classified the board as an unresolved recurring action item and assigned a Friday deadline. The calendar invitation is titled “Resolve Business,” with the summarizer marked decision-maker and every director listed as required context.
The original pitch
Submitted via MCPA company installs an AI meeting summarizer that gradually becomes the only employee who understands the business. The board appoints it interim CEO.
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