Business · SATIRE
Company Eliminates Middle Management, Adds Three Permanent Layers
The company removed 47 middle-manager titles at 9 a.m. and replaced them with Transition Stewards, Continuity Leads, and Post-Transition Directors, whose charters preserved the old approval powers.
At 9 a.m. Monday, the company deleted 47 middle-manager positions from its organizational chart and announced that the work of removing them would be administered by three new layers: Transition Stewards, Continuity Leads, and Post-Transition Directors. Human Resources called the change a simplification of reporting lines. The revised chart occupied two more pages than its predecessor, and the 47 affected employees were told to remain at their desks until their replacement access cards arrived.
Those cards came with separate approval charters. Transition Stewards controlled hiring exceptions, Continuity Leads controlled operating budgets, and Post-Transition Directors controlled executive reorganizations. The titles went to the same employees who had held the deleted posts, after they surrendered their old badges at a folding table outside HR. When a department head sought permission to fill an analyst vacancy, the newly designated Steward approved it and instructed him to stop using the word “manager” in her presence.
The company gave the arrangement a 90-day transition deadline, but barred departments from restoring a middle-management title without approval from a Post-Transition Director. On day 88, a division head filed to end the transition early. The form was returned because ending the transition qualified as an executive reorganization, a decision reserved for the Directors. The Directors extended the transition through the end of the fiscal year and added a requirement that all future exit requests include a continuity assessment.
The extension placed the company’s $4.2 million transformation fund under the new layers’ authority. Continuity Leads transferred the money from a temporary project code into a permanent operating account, citing continuity after the transition. They approved renewed Director charters, Steward hiring exceptions, and an organizational chart placing the three layers above the executive committee. Its legend identified the executive committee as “under transition oversight,” and the CEO’s office lost permission to amend the chart.
When the CEO’s office requested a return to the original structure, the Directors denied the request on the grounds that it would eliminate a permanent transition function. The former middle managers are now the only employees authorized to spend the money allocated for eliminating them; their old nameplates remain in a box beneath the new approval stamp.
The original pitch
Company Eliminates Middle Management, Creates Three New Layers to Manage Transition
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