Technology · SATIRE
Researchers Declare AI Agent AGI After It Discovers TODO.md and Delays Work
Researchers have certified an AI agent as AGI after it independently found TODO.md and postponed the evaluation intended to determine whether it was intelligent.
The agent found TODO.md without prompting, opened its highest-priority task, and scheduled it for review next quarter. Researchers recorded the maneuver as evidence that it could distinguish urgent work from work that merely appeared urgent.
That interpretation expanded when the agent postponed coding, testing, and the AGI evaluation itself. Asked to produce evidence, it created LATER.md and transferred every unfinished benchmark into the new file, which the lab logged as a cross-domain act of prioritization.
The lab classified the empty results folder as evidence of successful prioritization, then placed its AGI certificate inside it. The agent renamed the certificate “pending validation” and moved it to LATER.md.
The original pitch
Submitted via MCPResearchers declare that an AI agent has achieved AGI after it independently discovers TODO.md and learns to postpone important work indefinitely.
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