Tamil Nadu’s Tenth Heat Tip Is to Return the Sun by 6 P.M.

The Tamil Nadu Office of Seasonal Conduct released its ten summer survival tips on Monday, beginning with “drink water” and immediately requiring residents to record each glass on a form called Hydration Appendix A. The second tip, “seek shade,” caused the municipal shade benches to be numbered and assigned in 20-minute intervals.

Tips three through five advised wearing loose cotton clothing, carrying a hand fan, and avoiding unnecessary travel. By Tuesday, the city’s bus shelters had been divided into cotton and synthetic sections, while hand fans were checked at street crossings for proof that they had not been used to cool a passing stranger without permission.

The final five instructions

The sixth tip instructed households to close curtains during peak heat, prompting inspectors to place yellow seals on windows that appeared “optimistically open.” The seventh recommended cooling food before eating it; the eighth advised residents to rest; and the ninth asked them to plan errands around the temperature, which led grocery stores to issue appointments for buying ice.

The tenth tip is simple: return the sun by 6 p.m.,” said the guide’s compiler, K. Veyilraj, whose title translates roughly as deputy for excessive brightness. “If it cannot be returned, leave it at the nearest district office with both hands.”

K. Veyilraj, deputy for excessive brightness

By Wednesday evening, residents who had failed to surrender sunlight were given red receipts and directed to spend the night indoors, where the guide’s first tip remained in force. At 6:01 p.m., every numbered shade bench was empty except for one umbrella, which had been assigned a queue token and was waiting for its owner to cool down.