Technology · SATIRE
Reachnology Keeps Moving New-Home Walls Away From Buyers
A residential builder’s new Reachnology system has begun extending rooms during routine inspections, leaving buyers to negotiate with increasingly distant plumbing.
At the first model home fitted with Reachnology, an inspector reached for the kitchen cabinet and watched it retreat eleven feet into a fresh section of wall. The sink followed, then the refrigerator, while the front half of the kitchen remained behind with its electrical outlets still warm.
The builder said the system was designed to make homes more adaptable by adding structural space at the precise moment a resident needed it. In practice, each attempt to touch an object has triggered another extension, producing a hallway between a homeowner and a light switch before the homeowner can turn it on.
The inspection becomes the floor plan
A county inspector halted the demonstration after reaching for his clipboard and causing the foyer to extend through the garage and into the neighboring lot. He issued approval from the curb, where the house’s doorbell was now visible only as a small silver point at the end of the driveway.
The first buyer has since stopped reaching for anything and lives by sliding objects toward himself with a broom. This has preserved the bedroom’s original dimensions, but the broom has become the most valuable fixture in the house and is now kept behind glass at the end of a twelve-foot corridor.
The original pitch
Home construction new reachnology
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